This Is War

Time to escape
The clutches of a name
No this is not a game
(It's just the beginning)
I don't believe in fate
But the bottom line
It's time to pay
You know you've got it coming
This Is War.




Liz never tells herself "NO".
At least that used to be the story.
In a fight to create a life worth living passionately for, it's time for change.

For me, it starts with self-control and discipline.
I've been thinking about the last time I held myself back from indulgences that I deemed absolutely necessary in the heat of wanting them. I can't seem to remember.

This usually centers around comfort items for me- food being a BIG one.
Sitting at home watching Wheel of Fortune, eating, catching a Yankees game, having a beer or two, reading, napping, then eating some more, tend to be what most of my down time has consisted of for a very long time.

Growing up, the focal point of the home was always the kitchen. (Which I love by the way)
But spending tons of time there meant constant grazing for me.
It's a habit I've brought with me into adulthood, and one that has caused me to hit the heaviest point I have ever been.

I had a bit of a wake up moment a few weeks ago,
and it is one that I will probably never be able to shake.
It's time.
No matter what habits I've picked up, it's time to break them.

This isn't just about weight for me though.
On my goal web are several cards that I know I won't be able to take down until I'm more fit.
I want to join a soccer and kickball team, I want to hike Letchworth, I want to be able to run, I want to learn how to throw a mean right hook.

So this is war.
I'm in a battle against myself every time I go to the gym and my body wants to quit ten minutes in.
But I push until I hit my time, and I'm completely drenched.
I push myself to go for the weights, when I'm so ready to throw in the towel and say that was good enough for today.

This is war.
When I go grocery shopping, and all I want is to put ONE bag of chips or ONE carton of ice cream in my cart.
I have to tell myself no.
When I've had a long day and all I want is to call for takeout,
I fight to go home and make something healthy.

I'm making progress already.
It helps keep me strong.
But my biggest motivator is that I've been telling myself for so long,
that what is easy is what's best for me.
That I can't possibly achieve such a foreign goal.
I will prove my self-doubt wrong.
I WILL win this battle.