keep watching...

Coming soon to a blog near you- updates.
I promise.
Life is mad craze right now, and so much to tell!!!
Stay Tuned.

I'm a Fool

I must have forgotten that I live in God-forsaken Upstate New York.
I was fortunate enough to open my windows, and turn off the heat two days in a row when the temps outside reached the fifties.
This morning I woke up and my face was ice-cold, and I had zero motivation to get out of bed.
Apparently it snowed overnight.
And guess who forgot to close the windows and turn the heat back on.
Yep.
This girl.


Bought some used books and can't wait to dig in!
Topics include organic living (not just food),
and self-sustainability (I.E. making instead of buying).


Happy Weekend!

DisFREAKINGclaimer!

By the way, the cookies were NOT for me.
I didn't even keep any at home- they all went to this amazing fundraiser that my super cool, yellow haired sister organized for her Tae Kwan Do team.
I spent the evening with teenage girls being fools in the kitchen, and watching these kids transform a gym into a coffeehouse. It was pretty fantastic.

Happy Heart Day

I do adore this horribly commercial, hallmark holiday simply for the vibe it brings.
Just puts me in a good mood.
Pretty sure I've been single for about twenty-two of my twenty-four v-days, but i love it just the same.
Did a little celebratory baking <3>

This Is War

Time to escape
The clutches of a name
No this is not a game
(It's just the beginning)
I don't believe in fate
But the bottom line
It's time to pay
You know you've got it coming
This Is War.




Liz never tells herself "NO".
At least that used to be the story.
In a fight to create a life worth living passionately for, it's time for change.

For me, it starts with self-control and discipline.
I've been thinking about the last time I held myself back from indulgences that I deemed absolutely necessary in the heat of wanting them. I can't seem to remember.

This usually centers around comfort items for me- food being a BIG one.
Sitting at home watching Wheel of Fortune, eating, catching a Yankees game, having a beer or two, reading, napping, then eating some more, tend to be what most of my down time has consisted of for a very long time.

Growing up, the focal point of the home was always the kitchen. (Which I love by the way)
But spending tons of time there meant constant grazing for me.
It's a habit I've brought with me into adulthood, and one that has caused me to hit the heaviest point I have ever been.

I had a bit of a wake up moment a few weeks ago,
and it is one that I will probably never be able to shake.
It's time.
No matter what habits I've picked up, it's time to break them.

This isn't just about weight for me though.
On my goal web are several cards that I know I won't be able to take down until I'm more fit.
I want to join a soccer and kickball team, I want to hike Letchworth, I want to be able to run, I want to learn how to throw a mean right hook.

So this is war.
I'm in a battle against myself every time I go to the gym and my body wants to quit ten minutes in.
But I push until I hit my time, and I'm completely drenched.
I push myself to go for the weights, when I'm so ready to throw in the towel and say that was good enough for today.

This is war.
When I go grocery shopping, and all I want is to put ONE bag of chips or ONE carton of ice cream in my cart.
I have to tell myself no.
When I've had a long day and all I want is to call for takeout,
I fight to go home and make something healthy.

I'm making progress already.
It helps keep me strong.
But my biggest motivator is that I've been telling myself for so long,
that what is easy is what's best for me.
That I can't possibly achieve such a foreign goal.
I will prove my self-doubt wrong.
I WILL win this battle.

Goal Web

As promised, here is my latest creation.
Simple, but a constant reminder that I'm not finished yet.
So much to do.

Free at Last

Oh January. So glad to see you go.
My posts have been less and less on my blog and more with pen on paper in my journal these days. Sometimes I just need to slow it down and map out my brain in a permanent way. There is no deleting whats written in ink, and so no apologies to be made.
Just truth.

Anyways, January was filled with heartbreaking situations, and news.
But for the first time in a while I am seeing that harsh realities bring freedom.

For years there has been a deep rooted place in my heart where I thought that someday things could be the way they used to be.
News straight from the source, revealed that my biggest fear was true.
It will never happen.
Too much has changed, and in big permanent ways.
I'm not seventeen anymore. I'm going to be twenty-four.
And this was not what I imagined my life looking like.
All I could keep saying was "That was supposed to be me".

After an up all night of tears and raw hurt, the morning brought great clarity.
If that were supposed to be me, it would have been. My life is playing out this way for a reason.
Doors that I thought were still open as a backup option have been firmly closed and locked.
January brought several of these realizations. (I think I'm good for a while!)

So what now?

I'm investing in friendships.
I'm finding that having girlfriends isn't a bad thing after all.
These people are popping up out of the blue it seems, and our lives are syncing up to the same beat, so sharing life together is falling into place very naturally.
I'm meeting individuals who challenge me, push me, and like the same things I do.
Passionate lives are refreshing to be with, and i've tapped into an oil well of them.

I'm taking a big leap and pushing outside of my comfort zone.
I'm actually setting goals for myself. (yikes!)
They are covering the walls of my bedroom, so that I am forced to stare them down before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up.
(pics to follow)
This is crazy though.
Many of them seem very un-liz-like, but how will I ever move my life forward if I keep running in the same circles of comfort?

For all of the pain that January brought, I am thankful for it.
I know I wouldn't have such clarity if I hadn't been forced to open my eyes to multiple truths.
I'm ready to jump into a full life with all that I am, and not looking back on what might have been.

*

life is
only
as good as the memories we make
and im taking back what belongs to me.